


This Isn't Some Fairytale, It's Life

by wishfulthinking



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Sadstuck, Self-Destruction, Sorry if this is really depressing, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulthinking/pseuds/wishfulthinking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was like a princess that you were supposed to protect but somehow you couldn't even get past the dragons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't Some Fairytale, It's Life

Her name was Roxy Lalonde and she was the most beautiful girl you had ever laid eyes on, a first class girl who knew hold to hold herself up against the world. She didn't see it but all the other girls would look over her with jealous eyes that could pierce. She was everything they wish they were. All the guys would shoot lustful glances when her back was turned; whispers of things they wish they could do to her were spoken in the boys locker room. You know. There were several instances when you found your hands wrapped around their throats and cautious warnings to stay away slipping from your mouth. It was your job to protect her. And protecting her is what you tried your best to do. 

You remember her first broken heart. A boy by the name of Kyle who didn't know what he held in his hands. It was a summer fling, but you know she wanted it to be more than that. She had spent hours pestering you about him,  about how "great" he was. It turned out that Mr. Great had several other flings back in his hometown in California. You let her stay at your house for the night, holding her in your arms and letting her cry. She swore she wouldn't let herself be caught up with a guy like that ever again. You swore she wouldn't too.

It was two years later when you were both in your junior year when she met what she claimed to be her first love. A blonde jock belonging on the football team who had passed up several cheerleaders to take her to homecoming. You helped her pick out her dress, a little pink cocktail dress accompanied by sparkling high heels. She teased you into having your nails done with her, even dragging you along for a hair trim. She insisted that you both had to look "absolutely and utterly fabulous". He picked her up at seven and you picked Jake English up at eight. You didn't see her for the rest of the night.

You were still in your first relationship when Roxy had entered her third. The blonde boy had left her for a sports scholarship over in Michigan. And she wouldn't answer you when you asked, but you knew she was still thinking about him and rebounding right away. The new one was an inspriing guitarist, someone you had heard of by the name of Sly. You didn't remember him but apparently you two shared a class together back in the eighth grade. Roxy invited you over for dinner to get re-aqquainted with him one evening, but you left early because in all honesty, you dind't wanna meet another dickhead waiting to pounce. You spent the night at Jake's to take your mind off of what, or rather whom, she was probably doing.

Two months before graduation he dumped her in the hallway after school. You were supposed to be driving her over to your friend Jane's place for Pre-Calculus tutoring but when she didn't come to your car you got worried and wandered off to look for her. You found her in an abadoned classroom, eyes still puffy and mascara ruined. She smelt of cigarettes and perfume and you idly wondered when she started smoking. You carried her to the car and drove her to your house instead. Tutoring could wait.

She graduated top of her class, with you trailing up the line just underneath. No matter how hard you studdied you could never make as many high grades as her. You found your way to her through the shouts of cheer and flying hats, wrapping your arms tightly around her waist. Jane and Jake founds you guys shortly after and you four went out to eat at a local diner. Everything was perfect.

That summer you felt closer to her than you had ever have. She didn't date anyone else, and you didn't need to ask why. During nights that you spent with Jake she would have sleepovers with Janes. And you'll be dammned if you weren't interuppted mid-makeout session to a couple of prank calls. On most weekends you would all hang out as a group; movie nights were a regular thing. When Jake was hired to help out at his Grandmother's shop, Roxy had insisted for you to go job looking with her. When you two were hired together at a small buffet in town you hardly left each others' sides. Work days were spent with close shift changes and breaks taken together. She told you about her life at home, you told her about your Bro. At one point you told her how your were proud of her and you could've sworn she was blushing if it weren't as dark outside.

When September came you knew it was time to say goodbye. Jane was flying back to Washington to take up the family business two weeks before you and Jake were scheduled to start classes at a nearby community college. In one last desperate attempt for a temporary final gathering you crashed at her hourse.  Jake had brought over his favorite Indiana Jones movie, Roxy had brought over some of her favorite boos, and you had brought over some of your favorite snacks. Jane even baked some brownies. Jane and Jake bickered over who was the hottest actor until two in the morning before passing out, promptly leaving you alone and wide awake with Roxy. 

"I'm p sure that Janey's got the hots for your bf"", Roxy leaned up against you. 

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah. Should've seen the look she was given him. Plus I know since Janey and I are tight."

You knew she wanted to push the subject further, but instead she pushed her arms around you and fell asleep on your chest.

Ater Jane had left you knew it was time to part with Roxy. She had gotten accepted into some fancy rich school with a full scholarship. You had too, but you knew these places were more fit for her. She had already said goodbye to Jake the day before, wanting to save you for last. She cried. You almost did too but wouldn't let yourself. You told her to watch out, and she nodded her head in a feeble yes. Five minutes later she was gone.

Days passed, months passed, weeks passed. You kept contact over Pesterchum and sometimes long phone calls. She told you she had found another guy- a man this time, a real knight in shiming armor. 

"I know for 100% fact that his is him, Dirky. It's real this time." 

She sounded so happy you didn't want to disagree. 

He proposed to her in their third year of college. She sent you a picture of the ring, a diamond jewel that must have cost a fortune. She had a man of money and style and so the only thing you could do was wish her a congratulations. They set a wedding date for the end of the term.

She paid for you, Jake, and Jane's traveling flees when the time came around the corner. It was nice seeing Jane after all the time that passed. Shad gotten slightly taller, more prim and propper. And she was all smiles and tears, portraying as much joy as you felt for your friend too. Roxy met you at the airport with her fiancee. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Sturdy handshake. Someone who was just as strong enough as you. Someone who could take care of Roxy. Someone she needed to take care of her.

The wedding day came and you were sure to be the first one to see Roxy in her dress. She stood in front of you, hands folded tightly together behind her back. You told her she was beautiful and her smile made the compliment all the more true. She didn't have a dad so you were the one chosen to walk her down the aisle. You couldn't be more happier. And by the looks of it, neither could she.

And then it was time for the groom to walk out.

Except he didn't.

You waited.

She waited.

Everyone waited.

He never did.

And somehow you knew this was going to happen.

There was a huge uproar. Roxy broke glasses, she drank glasses. The groom's family stormed out. Jane cried. Jake cried. You still didn't let yourself cry. You had expected to spend another night holding her as she cried but you didn't. Instead you held her hair back as she threw up into a bathroom toiltet. 

When she had gotten it all out of her system she slipped her arms around your neck and held you close.

"You're gonna find someone so much better, Rox. I promise. Someone better than all those shitheads. Someone who can take real good care of you."

"Someone like you."

"...yeah. Someone like me."

After that you asked if she wanted you to stay and she in response she asked if you could leave.

You called repeatedly for the next two days only to get no answer. 

Jane and Jake pestered her continuously.

The talkative girl you grew up with had become quiet and reserved.

It wasn't until two weeks later when you heard from her again. When Jake had moved in with you he told you to leave your phone off at night, but you left yours on anyways. You were a light sleeper so you heard the small buzz of a text go off, a small message of two words telling you to call. You sneaked out into the living room and punched the familiar number hurridly. 

After some ring tones a sharp intake of breath was heard on the other line, "Dirk?"

"Yeah, dammit, it's Dirk. The guy you haven't spoken to in weeks. Are you okay?"

"N-n....yeah. I just wanted to hear your voice, ya know. Like you said, we haven't spoken in weeks", her voice shook with every word and it didn't take your level of closeness to know she was lying. 

"Roxy, you're not okay. I can tell. Talk to me."

There wasn't anyhing you could do but listen to muffled sobs.

"Please."

The line clicked off and you didn't know what to do. By the time your body was moving Jake had woken up. You think he asked what was wrong but you were too busy in a rush to stop and answer him. The earliest flight you could get to her area was in two hours and your car was quicker so you grabbed your keys and took that. You told Jake you'd call him and that everything would be okay and left.

It was a two and a half hour drive.

Two and a half hours of calling Roxy, Roxy not picking up, and a dead battery.

You found her place somehow through the dark, with just an address messily scribbled onto a postage. 

Not bothering to take the elevator, you rushed up several flights of stairs to get to her. You didn't bother to wait when she didn't answer the knocks on the door either. 

"Roxy? Roxy?!", you found your voice through loud and scared sobs; she still wasn't answering and all you wanted was to hear from her.

You kicked open the door to walk into the barely familiar apartment and your feet shuffled on their own accord towards her bedroom.

She'd be in there. Probably passed out from drinking too much. Just like plain old Roxy.

But she wasn't.

It's okay. Bathroom, maybe. You could recall several times in high school where you found her asleep in the bathtub.

You weren't going to knock because just like every other time you knew what you were going to find.

Except this time you actually weren't.

Because there was blood all over the floor and you could feel your stomach drop.

And Roxy Lalonde was in the bathtub, but the water was stained red.

And by the time you could reach out pick her up her body was ice cold and her heart rate had stopped.

No matter how many times you put your lips on hers she wouldn't breathe; no matter how many times you pushed down on their chest she wouldn't gasp for air.

And this time you let yourself cry because you couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Because throughout your entire life you had sworn and made promises to her. You were always supposed to be there for her. It was your job to proctect her.

But apparently protecting her wasn't what you tried your best to do.

And now you find yourself holding Roxy Lalonde, the most beautiful girl you had ever laid eyes on, limp in your arms and it finally hits you that maybe you should've been the prince for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay this took me almost two hours to write which is way longer than it should have. Whelp. I listened to Lana Del Rey during all of it.


End file.
